LOVEBIRDS KISSING IN THE DOG PARK ~ rough draft
by April Halprin Wayland
I don’t even know which is their dog;
I forgive them for losing track of it.
My dog can’t leave them alone.
They are like a statue made of putty.
He sniffs around their jeans
loving the smell of love, I guess.
Even after my hard-edged day
when little things went smashing over cliffs
and electronic cards didn’t work
and the lab canceled my test and we have to do it over
even with those piggy things all going wrong
when I look towards the faucet where the dogs drink
and see them kissing,
I tilt my head slightly
and my body softens
as if it’s been on a warm stove.
Even the light is more golden
at this just-before-evening hour
and here comes that wonderful shepherd
whose fur seems colored with chalk
that someone has smudged with their thumb.
Lovebirds kiss in the dog park,
my dog can’t leave them alone,
and all of us watch surreptitiously.
We are so stupidly tender.
We are
saying grace.
=======================
Bruce comments:
“This starts out great. And, in fact, both of us thought it was ending at
and see them kissing,
I tilt my head slightly
Â
and my body softens
I think everything after that isn’t needed.
However, that isn’t the ending it needs. But something in that direction.
These are GREAT lines:
Â
He sniffs around their jeans
loving the smell of love, I guess
Â
Even after my hard-edged day
when little things went smashing over cliffs
Â
even with those piggy things all going wrong
Really like this.”
What do you think?
