In honor of Poetry Month, Easter, Passover,
and all things rabbity, my free-verse picture book,
To Rabbittown, originally published by Scholastic,
is 99 cents on iTunes, Kindle, Nook–yippee!
Download the free Kindle for PCÂ
if you don’t have an eReader.
.
…for more children’s poetry links go to
this delicious blog:
Jama’s Alphabet Soup
Wait...what do you mean it needs some editing?????
No, I disagree...I really think the words, "severed head" work in this poem.
Yeah, well, thanks for your suggestions. Let me think about them; NO.
I do believe I'm entitled to a nap after an exhausting session ripping my poem apart..
This is Eli. Pronounced eeee-lye.
Hi there! Welcome to RuffDrafts.com–I’m glad you’re here!
My original poems, posted each day of National Poetry Month 2013, are imperfect. Messy. This is your chance to sneak a peek behind the scenes—before a poem is polished and published! (For my poems in 2010, 2011 & 2012, click on the Poetry link in the menu above.)
My friend Bruce Balan and I critique each other’s poems every day…so you’ll see Bruce’s comments on some of the poems.
Thanks for following so well. I’m tempted to take you to the dog park and let you romp off-leash… Ready? Let’s begin!
April 19
DOG EXPLORER USES HIS NOSE
DOG EXPLORER ~ rough draft
by April Halprin Wayland
Sniff, o, sniff—what glorious fumes
coats the world beyond these rooms?
You with your pens and their feathery plumes—
sit ’round the table in your conference rooms
but I have a calling beyond these doors
to the tang and the stink at the wild waves’ shores
while you’re puzzling over lines of ink,
I’ll be rolling in things that stink!
I’ll catch the tang of a porcupine’s trail,
decoding flavors that tell a tale.
You find words, I’ll follow vapors
I’ll bound through meadows, you plough your papers.
As your new poem begins to speak
I’ll uncover buried treasures that reek!
================================
Bruce comments: “Really liked this one. Excellent. Wonderful rhythm. We like the last line. ADR [his wife] points out that you use ‘tang’ twice which is somewhat distracting.”
Me: In fact, I see that I’ve used both “tang” and “stink” twice. I’ll fix those in the next draft. And I don’t think the last line scans well yet.
Explorer Eli has found something new…
 Today is Poetry Friday–oh, joy! Thank you, Irene, for hosting!
9 Responses to “DOG EXPLORER USES HIS NOSE”
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- Blog entries
- April 30
THE 2013 PROGRESSIVE POEM BY 30 POETS OF THE KIDLITOSPHERE - April 29
THESE DOG POEMS - April 28
WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR DOG - April 27
WHAT I HOPE WILL NEVER HAPPEN - April 26
Hello, I’m Buster and I’m a Chase-a-holic. Poetry Friday! - April 25
THERE ONCE WAS A DOG IN AN ENCOUNTER GROUP - April 24
SAYS THE TREE IN THE DOG PARK - April 23
GRIEF - April 22
BLACK / WHITE - April 21
O THE WIND BLOWS - April 20
GOD, DOG and TEDDY - April 19
DOG EXPLORER USES HIS NOSE - April 18
DISCIPLES AT THE DOG PARK – what to cut? - April 17
DETECTIVE DOG - April 16
IF OUR HOUSE WERE ON FIRE, WHAT WOULD I TAKE? - April 15
LOVEBIRDS KISSING IN THE DOG PARK - April 14
Try a Trimeric Poem! - April 13
DOG THOUGHTS ON A SATURDAY NIGHT - April 12
DOG PARK HAIKU - April 11
HELLO… - April 10
DOG UNTO OTHERS - April 9
INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING - April 8
MESSAGE FROM BEYOND: A FOUND POEM - April 7
BONEHEAD - April 6
Which Version Do You Like Best? - April 5
Hello, Tree, Says the Dog - April 4
HOW MANY POEMS? HAIKU - April 3
SEPARATED AT BIRTH - April 2
MORNING DOG - April 1
BEDTIME
April, I love this! You’ll find words, I’ll follow vapors… Eli knows how to have fun. xo
Hi April,
I love that calling of “the tang and the stink.” You’ve captured this pooch’s world! (And you get to enjoy him after he’s “rolling in things that stink.”)
Love your poem! I’ve often thought that I’d like to be able to use one of those black lights like they use on shows like NCIS to find traces of blood on the street when I walk my dog so I could “read” what she’s sniffing at. Pets provide no end of inspiration!
Love your poem, April! It is great to be out there gathering poems rather than staring at a blank screen/page.
Hi, Irene, Buffy, and Catherine! Thanks for coming by and jumping over all the barriers to make a comment! xxx
I have two dogs and, while no ocean or lake nearby, there is a river…so…I definitely got the “drift” from these lines:
but I have a calling beyond these doors
to the tang and the stink at the wild waves’ shores
What a fun project! Thanks!
Thanks for sharing your drafts and back-story!
How well we know the nose in our house with our snuffin’, snorfin’ Newf. Fun poems here, thanks!
Thanks for your comments, Steve, Mary Lee and Martha!