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For Poetry Month 2014, I'm searching for metaphors and similes. Join me! Here's a bit more on this month's project.

April 28

CLUTTER metaphor

Hi there!

Here are two versions of one of my poems
(with a metaphor that hits you over the head with a hammer).

Version #1 as published by Cricket Magazine

CLEANING OUT
by April Halprin Wayland

this old shirt
used to fit
but now I can’t slip into it
out it goes with the give-away clothes

now my closet opens wide
it’s easy to find my clothes inside
hangers dangle
unoccupied

this idea
used to fit
but now I can’t slip into it
out it goes with my give-away woes

now this closet opens wide
it’s easy to find ideas inside
it’s swept–wind-blown…
with empty hangers of its own.

=================================

Rewrite:

CLEANING OUT
by April Halprin Wayland

this big shirt
used to fit
but today I swim around in it—
out go all my give-away clothes

now my closet opens wide
it’s easy to find the clothes inside
hangers dangle
unoccupied

this idea
used to fit
but today I reconsider it—
out goes what I used to know

now my life is opened wide
it’s clean-swept, wind-blown…simplified—
it’s easy to find the me inside

 

poem © 2014 April Halprin Wayland. All rights reserved

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